Disclaimer to this post. Everything below is a blatant ripoff of Drew Magary’s fine work at Deadspin in his annual Why Your Team Sucks NFL preview. He invented this format that I am stealing, in which he insults the team as much as possible before conceding that they might be okay this year. He is a … Continue reading “WHY YOUR TEAM SUCKS – ATLANTA BRAVES (by MikeM)”
November 15, 2015 VOL 72 ISSUE 45 Sports · Local ATLANTA, GA—Braves officials were taken by surprise earlier this afternoon when a league official informed the team they have a major league schedule they will be expected to play out in 2016. “This comes as a surprise to us,” Braves General Manager John Coppolella admitted. “We … Continue reading “Braves Panicked After League Says They Must Field a Major League Team in 2016”
WAITING FOR FREDOT Camerogon: (Is sitting on second base, struggling with his cleats) Markakimir (enters). “Ah, there you are!” Camerogon. Yes. As I have been since I don’t know… Markakimir: New York? Camerogon: Yes, I suppose. Markakimir: May one inquire where Your Mightiness spent the night? Camerogon: On second. I’m waiting on Fredot to drive … Continue reading “Waiting For Fredot”
Life is hard. Oh, sure, it’s easy to say “we should go kill the the Nazis!” I mean, Captain America was made to kill Nazis, right? But then you end up in this place where you have to be like, “ah, nah man; Stalin’s a totes bro. He just gets a lot of bad press from … Continue reading “Not That We Care: a guide to the playoffs, part 3”
Evan Gattis is not just a great baseball player. He is the greatest human being ever. 1845: El Oso Blanco publishes the rules of baseball. 1879: Assists Thomas Edison in inventing the light bulb. 1903: After years of attempting to launch the first airplane, the Wright Brothers contact Gattis, who promptly throws the plane from … Continue reading “El Oso Blanco (by Smitty)”
Annals of Sports Journalism The following is the transcript of an aborted experiment in which Fox Sports attempted to expand its ratings in the Moneyball demographic. We’ll never know whether or not it would have worked, or indeed whether or not there is a Moneyball demographic. Too bad. In any case, for one untelevised game, … Continue reading “Joe Simpson’s New Play by Play Partner Game Thread, May 25 (by JonathanF)”
So, there’s no Braves baseball game today, because Selig. Which means there will be no “game thread” per se today. So, in lieu of that, here’s a link to the inaugural episode of the new Braves podcast that Alan Honeycutt and I are doing. We call it “The Circle Change” and we curse, overhype Evan … Continue reading “Because you’d hate to have two games in a row to start the season…”
Sent by an eagle-eyed reader. A picture is worth a thousand words.
After a purchase by Kansas City Royals outfielder Jeff Francoeur fell through due to Francoeur’s inability to determine where the lines for his signature were, New York Mets owners the Wilpon family have agreed to sell a majority stake in the team immediately to New York Yankees co-owner and Senior Vice President Henry G. “Hank” … Continue reading “HANK STEINBRENNER BUYS METS”
Our 2011 Braves Journal Whipping Boy will be — to start with — Alex Gonzalez! No, not Alex Gonzalez, Alex Gonzalez! AAG outpolled Nate McLouth 99-92. He will hold the Whipping Boy title until we get totally fed up with George Sherrill. New poll.