Seriously, if anybody wants to take my place on Monday recaps, please do. You can’t produce worse results than I have this year.
I know, “regression to the mean,” “law of averages,” etc. etc. but when a team scores 3 runs in 4 games and has a fairly objectively craptastic lineup, you don’t figure they will explode for 14 runs. But then again, the new flexible plastic explosive, TT 10, can create massive explosions. My heart goes out for M. Toussaint. He seems like a good guy. He seems to work hard. He just can’t get a handle on where the ball is going. He may be scarred for life. However, he doesn’t need to be on Major League roster again this year absent mass injuries.
Through 2 innings you squint and say ‘maybe Touki can turn a corner, kind of like Wright may be doing.” Yeah, he turned a corner and entered Tiananmen Square facing squarely a tank. The 3rd inning goes down as one of the worst pitching performances I have ever heard of. Walk, Stolen base, single, homer, homer (mound visit),d single, groundout, walk, pop out (now there are 2 outs, maybeeee), error, walk, (pitching change to merely ordinary combustible item, Luke Jackson), single, homer, pop out.
Meanwhile, the legendary bats slept their way through the game. A (bad) career reliever starts the game with an ERA around 7 and puts up a 1.000 WHIP. Really???
I had about 3 positive recap ideas before the game. The best was a song recap based on McCartney and Wings “Rock Show.” “watch the ball go, at the home of Orioles.” “courtesy of Monsieur Touki (touki, touki).” But, the stunning nature of this collapse killed any positive vibes I could get.
Alright Hammers, turn these Birds into nails and drive them, harshly and with due prejudice. Staring tonight with the Boxcar Wino. Yeah, like that is really going to work out well.