Look. Let’s be honest. There is no way in, around, nor under hell that I’m going to stay up for a west coast night game. It’s just not going to happen. The start time of 10:10 is technically past my Old Man Bedtime, and there’s just nothing that a June 5 tilt against the Pads brings to the party to induce me to stay up late. So, ya know; true story bruh. It’s 4:11 in the afternoon and I am just not gonna.
Someone will win. Someone will lose. Unless there was rain. Or an earthquake. Or aliens. I don’t know. Future is future, and I’m going to be asleep anyway. Sean Newcomb toes the rubber for the good guys. Something called a Jordan Lyles throws for San Diego. He was in the pen into May, but has apparently helped “stabilize the Padres rotation” if MLB.com’s to be believed. You kids have fun, ‘kay?
In other news, if you have to tell someone your commentary is insightful, it’s probably not. And if you have to explain a joke, it’s almost certainly not funny. Similarly, if your first instinct is to tell people something bad is not your fault…
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