Home Alone II, Braves 1, Mets 4

[Our movie is set in New York. “Home” is from the perspective of the winners, get it? The Braves (Barves) are the experienced though bumbling crooks. We figure there is no way these young whipper snappers can make us look so bad again. Thus is the source of the humor of the movie.]

We the “Sticky Bandits,” knew our team needed talent infusion. So, it was that Mike Foltynewicz was brought up (or is it down?) to the Major League team. The first inning essentially decided this. David Wright with the foreign object to the head (HR). Yoenis Cespedes with the electric shock (Two run HR). Lucas Duda with the serious burn injury (HR). And thus, Kevin McAllister had bested the Sticky Bandits and only needed to find Rockefeller Center and give a dove to Mom.

Our Sticky Bandits suffered from the fact that the townhouse being rebuilt had no source of power. This lineup is so “unpowerful” that is should be called Lichtenstein. The Barves “outhit” the Mets 9 to 8, but you see what that gets when nobody can put the ball over the fence.

FINALLY, in the 9th, The Barves barved 1 up.

Just like when we first see the Sticky Bandits in the movie, when we first see the Braves on a baseball field we just wait for what manner of disaster they will meet. I thought this would be a tough year to get through, but not like this.

85 thoughts on “Home Alone II, Braves 1, Mets 4”

  1. Power, via the bat, that’s an exciting thing when you get to see it again in its purest form, repeated…you had forgotten.

    Power of the arm, though, now that’s different…apparently, it must be located.

  2. There is a knock-off or mock buster version of home alone called “the dog who saved christmas”, where the dog gets left home alone while the family goes on vacation, and he foils the burglars plot with similar (often identical) booby traps. One of the burglars (Marv) is played by Dean Cain and the voice of the dog is Mario Lopez (AC Slater). I shit you not. And of course there’s a sequel…

  3. Matt Tuiasosopo
    a bat, who he, a soso pro?
    but not yet forty
    time enough to spell the occasional sortie.

  4. @78 previous thread…
    John…Zunino, either you hang up or you don’t!
    and…you’re challenged on Tuiasosopo…the bar is low.

  5. Reid Brignac
    learned to hit in tv games at Radio Shack
    once electronically sound
    he feels a bit lost now there’s no Shacks around.

  6. The Braves got Catfished. Thought they were getting Emilio Bonifacio, but ended up with Lennay Kekua’s cousin instead.

  7. @8

    Brandon Drury
    that awful trade, you must excuse the fury
    has more home runs than us in toto
    undoubtedly yet another compromising photo.

  8. @ 7..
    MOWE…thanks for the memory, too soon forgotten, how could we..

    Lennay Kekua, Wiki
    the middle man who loved a quickie
    until we learned to doubt his id
    then it was a bit of a let down, frankly, when we did.

  9. Matt Tuiasosopo
    Oh…so, so guapo!
    Less than so-so at baseball,
    Our seeds of discontent abound, so sow them all.

  10. …the Ricky Gervais Verizon ads, currently de riguer apparently between innings of every televised baseball game, are arguably very funny…depending of course on individual sensibilities and how much constant repetition has deadened their initial impact…

    what must not be allowed to suffer though, the one that floats high above the others, is the KC/Parachute one.

    deadpan HOF stuff.

  11. #13 – Would be nice to see Eddie Perez have a shot to replace him for this season.

  12. I think it’s gotta be TP. He’s paid his dues and been super loyal. Not that this team is some great reward, but it’ll be easier to look good when the prospects come up later, and more fun too.

  13. Are we even sure TP or Eddie Perez would want the job for the remainder of the season with our current MLB roster? It might be a different scenario after the break with some more of the prospects up on the roster, but right now, I think they might turn it down unless the front office agrees to make some roster moves. I doubt any individual could get this current roster to produce at even a .400 win percentage.

  14. I think there’s potential upside in the second half, and it’s a better gig than being a coach. Why wouldn’t they want it?

    You could argue that it’s not fair to treat this season as an audition for a longer term role, but I think the upper management is well aware of the shitshow of a roster they’ve assembled.

  15. This is fascinating to me, because it’s my gut feeling that Fredi was intended to last the full season, and that the team didn’t want to do any kind of interim manager shenanigans. So it’ll be interesting to see how this plays out if Fredi is indeed canned soon.

  16. Pendleton’s coaching career trajectory is an odd one for someone with aspirations to be a major league manager (if, indeed, he has such aspirations). This is his fifteenth season on the coaching staff. After his first five years as hitting coach (and despite no managerial experience at any level), he was in the running to replace Frank Robinson for the Nats, then soon after that was thought to be in line to replace LaRussa, then Cox. So, not merely major league managing gigs, but fairly high-profile ones — the Nats have always had buzz, and the Cards and Braves were looking to continue long histories of success. None of those panned out, and so now he’s spent six seasons as first base coach, with no managerial whispers whatsoever. To get passed over, then demoted (seems to me), and then to stick around this long reads like a guy who’s decided he’s comfortable.

    Perez, meanwhile, has managed in the minors and in the winter league for several seasons. That’s a managerial track.

    And so, I think the thing to do is….promote Pendleton. Give him the season to see what he can do, and maybe he can parlay it into a gig elsewhere. Then give Eddie a three-year contract in 2017.

  17. It would seem to be a bad position for someone to take an interim gig with this club. Unless you feel there’s an opportunity to look good while being bad (but not 5-18 bad), then it’s a tough job to get a few month crack at.

    It does seem like it’s just time for a fresh start for everyone, but the wins will come when winning players come.

  18. Years back, Pendleton expressed that he didn’t want to interview for managerial jobs unless someone was serious, as he felt he was getting called in to satisfy the Selig rule and was sick of it. I suspect saying such a reasonable thing publicly has tainted him as “having the wrong attitude.”

  19. @25
    coop, for those of us out of touch pse explain who is and why..

    avant gard artist, friend of Andy?
    European tax haven?
    second baseman Mud Hens?
    classical pianist/composer?
    current pop icon?

  20. That’s the major downside of the Selig rule, not that anyone doesn’t realize this. Pendleton was as cerebral a position player as we’ve had during my decades of Braves fandom. Not sure if that translates to good in-game strategy, but he’s also as good a guy as there is, and he has a bit more fire in the belly than Fredi. If we’re going to fire Fredi now, and this seems like a relatively arbitrary time to do so*, I hope TP gets a crack. Holding the position temporarily, even for a losing team, could get him a more serious look elsewhere.

    *There have been so many great opportunities to fire Fredi, that it doesn’t make sense to me to do it early-midseason, now that we have a putrid team that nobody could avoid 100 losses with. Unless you want it to be more symbolic than anything, which is what it would be.

  21. I think being offered the Braves position might be different, but there’s no telling. You’d think it’d be a “if you don’t know me by now,” situation. Conversely, if he interviewed and was passed over again, you have to wonder about his future with the club.

    I looked for the article in which he was quoted, but couldn’t find it. I did find he interviewed for the Dodgers, Marlins, Rays and Brewers in addition to the teams you mentioned.

    All that said, I’d support a move to TP.

  22. The keep-Fredi argument is still pretty strong. #1 draft pick, defacto scapegoat, and so on. I don’t think the fanbase will allow it though.

  23. Even with an elevated walk rate (which I was wrong about earlier, by the way), a 14.9 K/9 would allow Lucas Sims to have a better time adjusting to the big leagues with the Defense of Doom behind him in Atlanta. My hope for an August pitching staff:


    Folty (throw that gas, baby)
    Vizcaino (stay healthy)
    Viable Reliever That’s Been Traded For
    Left-handed stiff (Being realistic)

    This is assuming that Jenkins and Banuelos don’t factor into the plans, and Barker, Ellis, Newcomb and whomever don’t make the steps towards being big league ready. At some point, there needs to be a 2-pitching-prospects-for-established-major-leaguer trade with how consistently just about every player has made a step forward (except for Folty, Banuelos, and Newcomb).

  24. The thing is… part of being a big league manager is being a scapegoat. That’s been in the job description since time immemorial. Sometimes things go to hell and someone needs to get fired. That’s just how it works.

  25. And that’s why they continue to get paid to not manage. I really have no problem with paying a guy a lot of money to be a sacrificial lamb, especially if it could have any positive impact.

  26. Last Night: Hey, if you’re going to lose & lose badly, might as well mix in a little humiliation into the salad.

    With no 2nd pitch & decreased velocity, Folty’s first inning was more like Bobby Dews tossing BP. Major leaguers sitting on one pitch equals 3 first-inning homers. And they were really 3 different kinds of dingers. Wright’s HR was a bomb, just a monstrous pop-fly that carried out of the park. Cespedes’ HR was like an artillery round—-loud & launched on a line to the deepest part of the park, into “the M&M seats.” Duda’s was a drive—-just a question of fair or foul, but it smacked off the facing of the upper deck with an audible thump. My beer was still three-quarters full.

    But, more Braves fans than I expected to see in the park. I was wearing a UGA cap and when I descended from the subway station, I exchanged nods with a guy who was sporting a Braves starter jacket. In one look, it was the shared notion of “Can you believe we’re doing this?”

    But when I got to my seat-—promenade box, a $30 ticket bought online for $6-—the section had 2 groups of Braves fans, including some UGA folk. So we shared the misery a little and it was great to know that… hey, despite this dead-bugs-on-a-windshield team we’re rooting for, this still is baseball & that’s alright.

    Still… considering how the game began, it was a bit of a relief that the final score was only 4-1. It was like a Division III hoops team playing in Chapel Hill & keeping it under 20, but Major League Baseball shouldn’t feel like this.

    I sure hope we can steal a game from them this week, but I should know better. For this club, hope is a bad thing, a sure road to disappointment. Yes, the Reid Brignac Era has begun and, perhaps fittingly, he got a quite smack in the face as a welcome. Ouch.

  27. I think it would be an insult to TP to hire him with the label “interim”, which is all I think the Braves would be prepared to do to replace Fredi. I still believe they have some kind of big manager hire as part of their 2016 new stadium/fresh new look rollout.

    TP has been with the organization forever, and in good standing, and he clearly has had managerial aspirations at one time. Maybe he doesn’t anymore and would be willing to be the kind of organizational soldier that would keep a seat warm until the Braves hire the guy they really want, and then he’d go back to coaching. They’d be lucky if he was, I guess.

    I don’t even recall if he was given any thought to replace Bobby, but if he wasn’t then he’s still stuck around the team with no hard feelings.

  28. Last night, I watched the Decline of Western Civilization, with director’s commentary. Seeing Black Flag, the Circle Jerks, X, the Germs, and Fear in 1979-1980 — all at the height of their power, and before many of them had put out their first album — is pretty incredible. Especially on a 60-inch TV.

    Lee Ving is a holy terror.

  29. Does anyone remember back when Pendleton was a player it seems like he threw an irrational temper tantrum because of what seemed like a minor incident? It just seemed really out of character for him and nothing over the past 20 or so years has made me believe otherwise. Any insight on this or am I the only one that remembers it?

  30. My comment is awaiting moderation, but I was linking to the Chris Johnson incident. Personally, that makes me want TP. I want to see some dadgum fire.

  31. @45, No it wasn’t. Chris Johnson threw a batting helmet across the dugout and it hit TP. That’s unacceptable behavior for anybody in the game, and if you’re hit by a speeding helmet it’s impossible not to get fired up for a minute.

  32. I’m not sure it justified TP putting his hands on him. I couldn’t have less of an opinion on any of this, though. If we could get some entertaining postgame quotes out of the next guy, that’d be great.

  33. In 1992 (I believe) Pedleton walked off the field after Marvin Freeman did not throw inside or hit an opposing batter (in Cincy, I believe). Cox looked bewildered and the announcers were not sure what was going on – thinking he may have been injured. Don’t remember if a Brave had been hit earlier in the game or just pitched inside.

  34. I supported TP when that happened, and sometimes I wish we had more Bobby than Fredi in terms of passion. When Freeman got hit in the foot in the ninth against Kimbrel last week, I still think Fredi should have been tossed. It’s the 9th inning, you’re a major league baseball manager so you’re really not that important, and from the outside looking in, so much could be gained from getting tossed. Bobby made a living on that.

  35. About the helmet thing with Chris Johnson, I remember it being at 1st base, Johnson slammed his helmet and it hit TP. I could be wrong.

    FWIW, The Braves had spoken to Johnson before about his temper tantrums, throwing things in the dugout.. I think TP getting in his face was as much about hitting him with the helmet as it was about acting like a professional.

  36. Aybar killed that 2-on none-out rally all by himself by popping up the first pitch with the pitcher behind him. Gotta put up a good AB there.

  37. @39: Was that you, ububba, that they showed keeping score against a clipboard at one point when SNY vamped out to a commercial? I didn’t get much of a look, but it looked like your scorecard…The camera was perched behind your left shoulder, if it was you.

  38. Freeman and Markakis need to bat consecutively so we can at least have a decent chance of scoring every 3 innings.

  39. Mallex is hitting pretty well after the slow start. I think he is up to stay.

    Will be interesting to see what the Braves do when Inciarte comes off the DL.

  40. I agree. Move him to LF. I don’t think Adonis Garcia is a ML player if he’s a corner OF. He had a chance to be a regular if he could avoid embarrassing himself at 3B, but he doesn’t hit enough to be a bad OF.

  41. Garcia is a singles hitter who is bad at defense and doesn’t walk much. Seems like a pinch-hitter to me.

  42. I gotta say, I do like watching AJ run like he’s been hunted. That’s entertainment.

  43. Love me some Mallex. Mets just wanted to get Harvey through the inning and pinch hit for him. Mallex fights him for 7 pitches, and then just serves one to LF to knock him out. Big league AB.

  44. According to the box score, the Atlanta Braves are playing a major league baseball game tonight.

  45. What a game for Wisler. Good to see him developing into a quality starter.

  46. Thanks for confirming my memory of the 1993 incident with TP. It just always seeemed odd to me, but nothing Pendleton has done since then gives me reservations about him. I would have been disappointed with any coach who didn’t get into Johnson’s face for hitting him with a batting helmet. That’s a clown move, bro!

    Too bad Wisler didn’t finish the game. If Vizcaino doesn’t get the save, he should be released immediately. I’m almost serious.

  47. Damn shame not to give him a chance at the shutout. But a young guy starting an inning with 106 pitches is a tough sell.

  48. Next year really could be a fun one to watch. Wisler and Blair in the rotation, maybe Teheran too. Viz, Shae Simmons, Paco Rodriguez in the pen. An OF that might be Mallex, Inciarte and Markakis, and IF of Ruiz, Swanson, Albies and Freeman.

    Need a catcher who can hit a little. That lineup won’t win the pennant as rookies and second year players, but it’ll be fun.

  49. I was listening to the radio on the Mallex Smith homerun call and it was one of the worst calls I’ve ever heard. Sutton called it a little flair and said it went fair. I literally thought it was hit into the stands just past 3rd base.

  50. Insert two more guys that aren’t automatic outs into this lineup and we’ll be competitive most nights.

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