The season hasn’t even started yet, and the Braves have already scored 15 runs, which means that the Braves are on pace to score an infinite number of runs. (Not in the same game, as Kenny Mayne would say. That would be a record.)
With the caveat that none of this actually matters — at all, you should basically ignore the results both good and bad, the Braves scored seven runs in the first inning because Ubaldo Jimenez threw nothing but fastballs and he couldn’t locate them, it being his first start in five months — BASEBALL is back and all of this is awesome. Mallex Smith, who is faster than that, hit two stand-up triples in the first inning and finished a single shy of the cycle. (The second one may have been aided by a Mark Trumbo replay misplay out in left field. But whatever. See above.) Ozhaino Albies went 3-for-5 with a homer and he only turned 19 in January. Dansby Swanson went 0-for-5 with seven men left on base and Aaron Blair gave up four runs in his second inning after having a good first inning; they were mixed debuts, but it was a thrill to see the players we got in the Shelby Miller trade suiting up for the team.
Baseball!
Thanks, Alex. I’d been wondering how fast Mallex Smith is.
I’ll be Eeyore later. Today, Braves are favorite to win WS.
Again, it doesn’t matter, but Swanson was battling stomach virus according to Bowman.
Only his hair is perfect; his gastrointestinal tract, it appears, is fully mortal.
Mallex Smith
the future core and not the pith
bases by the dozen
so many tricks, they dare enter not his coven.
the Great Dansby
so many trips to the cans be
counterproductive
statistically, digestively they’ll prove to be reductive.
Swanson fair,
it’s apparently the hair
his off-field excursion
must not detract from this exquisite version.
I’m tired of the excuses. Stomach virus? It’s time for Dansby to put up or shut up. We’ve been waiting long enough.
I give prospects a little longer leash than you, Rob, but still…at some point you have to stop being a PROspect and become a PRO. It’s time to get the bowels moving or get off the bowel movement receptacle.
For an infielder in today’s baseball, it’s more like shift or get off the pot.
Duke takes the mound today. Can we evade our destiny for yet another game?
I know it’s early, but the Braves, if they keep up this pace, will go 81-0-81!
The Braves are projected to be the worst team in baseball this year. But we have the third-highest average ticket prices in spring training!
http://www.vividseats.com/blog/spring-training-ticket-prices
That would have to be a record for most ties. Can someone verify on BR.com?
@12, I can confirm that the projected record @10 would indeed break the record of the 1913 Philadelphia Phillies, who finished 88-63-8.
@13
We should pass that by April 28
I love this bar.
Mallex Smith would be on pace to hit 162 triples if this were regular season.
And 81 home runs.
nevermind, move along
The only question remaining is how the Phillies managed to play 159 games that year.
Stomach virus or “flu-like symptoms”? Hmmmm.
I’d love to open a bar some day. We would pour good beer, serve fried food, there would be a television at each end of the bar with the sound off, and there would be free popcorn.
Another Alex Bar
@22
Edward wins this small portion of the intarwebz for today!
Let it be written, let it be done.
I thought blazon could have a bar called Clary Hugh’s
Clary Hugh’s
Serves frothy brews
At either end of the bar
sits a 1968 wood-grained Quasar
I don’t mean to alarm anyone, but I think it’s possible that Chris Volstad is not the answer.
A bar by blazon
Would pour a good saison
And by the pay phones
Would be numerous photos of players named Jones.
It’s only fitting we’re having alcoholic fantasies before the start of the 2016 Braves season.
Taverna blazon
could be our d’etre raison
A round of corona with limes
to wash down the terribly forced rhymes
@29
d’etre raison…first prize! GT Eng. would be proud…love it!
Alex R
would love to find a lonely bar
Edward Hopper
would paint him, in situ, grilling a whopper.
@24
missed it…haha, like it.
an Engineering Bar i can’t for the moment fantasize.
@24
Clara Hughes
she tries to keep up with the news
at station JWDB
where likely you will find more than half the SEC
@26,
In which Bravesjournal opens a bar and condemns the Volstad Act.
Interesting that the 5 teams that were strongest “up the middle” defensively were among the very best teams in baseball last year.
http://espn.go.com/mlb/story/_/page/springtraining_bluejaysd/toronto-blue-jays-define-strong-middle
a frozen rope
the metaphor inflames, excites our hope
but we’ve had a shortage of freon
ever since the days we helicoptered in Deon.
idea for a new poll, if you are in need of a new Braves jersey this year, who do you get? someone from Gwinnet? Chipper? just punt and hope for next year?
Good one! I just added it.
Well my choice is not available… I would choose a particular member of the coaching staff only because we have the same last name.
I’ll get a vintage “Gant” jersey with hopes that John will make it relevant again.
I’d get two – one with Williams, the other with Perez.
We’re on pace to go 54-54-54. A truly balanced team.
We are perfectly balanced. We can hit, field, and pitch equally well.
Larry Brown
so another college star has been put down
for an old man’s vanity
we who watch might best assess our sanity.
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/03/06/sports/ncaabasketball/smu-keith-frazier-larry-brown-corruption.html?hp&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&clickSource=story-heading&module=second-column-region®ion=top-news&WT.nav=top-news
‘holistic criteria’
let’s use less we’re sent to Siberia
all the parts as a whole
and please, not again, not another NCAA mole.
The Braves are on mlb.tv right now.
Client appointments have cruelly put me about 15 minutes from the Braves’ stadium with no ability to get there before the end of the game. The world is not just.
Ahem, try not to complain about being employed :)
why does it always seem like Cameron Rupp destroys us? Is this perception rooted in reality?
Still not back to work after the events of last week at my place of employment in Hesston, Ks, but watching Braves baseball is a welcome balm!
Answered my own question:
Although Rupp has 2 of his 9 career HR against us, he is only slashing .220/.292/.373 (.665), which is in line with his overall career averages. Of course I remember the long balls.
Olivera, Hector
Wished for a bishop, received just a rector
Projected for only half a WAR
While sanguine fans hope for five or MORE
The Braves are on pace to give up an infinite number of runs this year.
This is a valiant comeback effort. As it stands, bases loaded for Rio with 1 out, down 9-7 in top of 9th.
UPDATE: K’d, 2 outs for Kennelly
Walked…ozzie up with bases loaded, down 9-8.
Ozzie walked, 9-9. Mallex up.
MALLEX! Vroom forced them to make a play! 11-9
I nominate Jason Hursh to be our closer! 12-11 Phils
sounds fun…
Bud Collins
it was never clear if he was related to Jimmy Rollins
but those fancy pants
had the Wimbledon Ladies all askance.
RIP
…someone told me once that in the early days of Spring Training the pitchers are always ahead of the hitters…
control and command
of that which comes out of your hand
advances your cause
while giving the hitter occasional pause.
Ryan Clark
was once pitching Friday Night Lights at the UNCG park.
said Connie Britton
unlike me, him there were very few batters who could hit on.
David Carpenter and Ruan Kelly have been released. That was quick on Carpenter
After Simmons was traded I tried to care about baseball, but I just couldn’t. He was the one reason I could turn the game on every night and keep it on. I tried a couple of times to come back here during the offseason, but the first time came smack in the middle of the DH-to-the-NL conversation, and the second time was right around the time the Braves signed Jeff Francoeur. Talk about feeling kicked by baseball while I was already down. But with Andruw being in the Braves HOF and back with the organization…and actual baseball games happening…and the smell of Spring in the air…I just can’t. stay. away. This team is in my blood.
The comments in this thread are the best. Kudos to all.
I guess it gives Carpenter enough opportunity to catch on with another club that doesn’t have as much bullpen depth. I think Kelly is headed to Japan. Even this early, the Braves need to be handing the finite innings they have to the pitchers that have a shot at making the roster. I imagine the other NRIs are getting the next hard looks.
Speaking of depth, I was listening to Mike Stanton on MLB Network Radio. His opinion was that for every inning the relief corp consistently pitches, you need two solid relievers in the bullpen. So for a team like us, if you’re going to consistently have pitchers pitching on average of 6 IP, you need 6 solid relievers. It’s interesting to think that our starting pitching was so poor during the O’Ventbrel era, but that’s why we also needed Avilan, Durbin, Medlen, the Lisp, etc. I really think with Vizcaino/Grilli/Johnson/Simmons/Withrow/TBD Lefty/TBD Lefty we’ll have enough horses to shut the game down after the 6th inning, and that’s assuming Ogandi, Ramirez, Weber, Winkler, two of the lefty relievers (looks like we have 4 for 2 spots), and the loser of the Perez/Banuelos/Folty battle don’t factor heavily into our bullpen plans.
Do these moves clear roster space, for a trade? If not, I’m surprised they are made at this time.
In the spirit of Dank Lob:
http://mweb.cbssports.com/mlb/eye-on-baseball/25481796/important-heres-the-braves-likely-2016-lineup-in-anagram-form
Bacon is so good that even lemur bacon is probably good.
@gondee-Sounds like Ogando is an early favorite, but don’t count out Francoeur. His presence to help sell tickets is strong.
Gon Dee
what an independent cuss he can be
do you think his MT Meter
would actually have predicted the early Jeter?
and read at your peril
he regards all comments as potentially feral.
Wiillians Astudillo
is dreaming dreams of Amarillo
at low,very, A
and Sweet Marie who’s in the hay.
Hunter Cervenka
is becoming best known for his sizzling senka
as it approaches the plate
it rapidly senks and only then will it begin to gyrate.
Fredi & Hector
http://tinyurl.com/h623p9f
Downton Abbey
had an ending that few would call shabby
the Braves may now sign either Butler
ensuring no more illegal play from the likes of Utler.
@ 70..
great background, thanks…why do i feel guilty?
Brooklyn Baseball Stories
http://www.nytimes.com/2016/03/07/sports/baseball/tom-knight-brooklyns-baseball-sage-dies-at-89.html?module=WatchingPortal®ion=c-column-middle-span-region&pgType=Homepage&action=click&mediaId=thumb_square&state=standard&contentPlacement=2&version=internal&contentCollection=www.nytimes.com&contentId=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.nytimes.com%2F2016%2F03%2F07%2Fsports%2Fbaseball%2Ftom-knight-brooklyns-baseball-sage-dies-at-89.html&eventName=Watching-article-click&_r=0
http://joeposnanski.com/no-34-mel-ott/
Mel Ott
a statistic that Joe quite forgot
his first and last names
less letters than any in all the Hall of Fames.
P.S. To all who it may concern…if someone, anyone, would care to post something here that would confirm for me, and maybe others, that this blog has thrown off its recent mechanical stutters and is indeed alive and well and is not practicing some sophisticated form of verse aversion therapy over the last 36 hours. Post and i promise a hiatus from these shores…at least a day…cheers.
They’re entertaining, Blazon — just not able to file competing entries.
It took awhile, but I finally glimpsed the locals’ schedules. Both squads open rather cruelly.
The Mets open at Kansas City, their WS conquerors.
The Yanks open at home vs. Houston, their WC opponent. It’ll surely be vs. Dallas Keuchel, a guy who went 3-0 & threw 22 scoreless innings against them in ’15.
And… not that it’s really keeping me up nights, but the Braves’ entire first month is rather daunting. In 25 of their first 28 games, the Braves play the Nats, Cards, Mets, Dodgers, Cubs & Red Sox.
Cue the Humble Pie: http://tinyurl.com/he77z77
@71, what a great story. While I remain very concerned that Olivera will make the contribution his salary dictates, I will now pull for the guy without hesitation. I do hope what was reported is true.
New thread.