Braves 9, Phillies 5 (by spike)

As is only fitting, Team Blue wiped out the hated redcoats. The first shots were fired when Peterson and Cameron “€œMinuteman” Maybin opened up on Kevin “€œGeneral Gage” Correia. The real damage was done when the Phil charged uphill into a few volleys right into the whites of their eyes from Kelly “€œIsrael Putnam”€ Johnson, Juan “€œWilliam Prescott”€ Uribe and AJ “€œTadeusz Kosciusko”€ Pierzynski.

Our own side switching Jeff Francoeur”>Jeff “Benedict Arnold”€ Francoeur apparently turned over our secret plans for crappy defense over to the Phils as he overthrew a cutoff man to go with two Phillies errors on the night. Maybin swamp-foxed one from here to Athens in the southern half of the second. In the fourth Alex “€œGeorge Washington”€ Wood crossed the Delaware to surprise Odubel “Hessian” Herrera. Maybin, Markakis and Johnson saratoga’ed Correia into surrender to make it 9-1. Darin “Guy Carleton” Ruf put one over the walls of Quebec for three runs, and Herrera homered a few innings later to cut the lead to four.

Jason “Rochambeaux” Grilli blockaded the Phils in the ninth and Maikel “€œCornwallis” Franco’s desperate breakout attempt was turned back to complete the victory. Tomorrow, Shelby “Andrew Jackson” Miller takes on Cole “€œGeorge IV” Hamels for the sweep before heading out to Fort Shelby.

49 thoughts on “Braves 9, Phillies 5 (by spike)”

  1. Hope everyone had a happy 4th, or as I’ll be calling it from now on thanks to the new fireworks law, “Dopey, Inconsiderate Man-Child Neighbor Day”! The Rick Camp Game rules are now codified statewide….

  2. I’m exaggerating somewhat, but you can set them off until 2 AM “around July 4” and until midnight any other night, with no more stringent local policies allowed anywhere in the state. And some of these things are LOUD.

  3. Nice recap spike, though the resignation of Ryne “William Howe, 5th Viscount Howe” Sandberg replaced by Pete “Sir Henry Clinton” Mackanin ought to tell you that the handwriting has been on the wall for some time, reflecting the continuing Madness of Ruben “George III” Amaro

  4. After Freddie, Maybin is battling for my second favorite player. He’s far from an elite player, but he’s a fun guy to root for.

  5. Delayed steal by a runner on second with nobody out… man, that’s Little League level TOOTBLAN there.

  6. Phillies apparently traded the Diamondbacks a 2014 fourth round pick (with terrible numbers at A-ball) for about 2M worth of international signing cash. Crazy we gave up Fulenchek for a fifth as much.

  7. Poor Shelby takes a shutout into the 7th and still can’t be in line for a win.

  8. @12, I wonder if part of the problem for the Braves is that it had been reported that they’d already reached agreement with those guys, and so it was clear that they desperately needed the bonus pool money — so other teams may have kind of had them over a barrel.

  9. @16 I think the Phillies were in the same spot, though. They’d already signed a guy for 4 million.

  10. Not sure what was worse, those last two ABs or Chip’s call of Ciraco’s pop fly. Seriously, Chip, go away and never come back, please.

  11. Sure, but if you were listening to Chip describe Ciriaco’s ball, several laws of physics were violated.

  12. I suppose there are no better alternatives than Masset, but he’s just awful.

  13. Masset is still not an asset.

    Edit: Eveland to face Howard with the bases loaded. Someone should be booking Fredi a flight home.

  14. And barring a change in fortune, that’ll be 2-6 in extra-inning games, and 1-5 in the last six of those. Thanks, ‘pen.

  15. Did David Carpenter not throw Juan Uribe a slider? Uribe whiffed on three straight sliders.

    It sucks that Masset is set to be responsible for the coughed up lead, but you shouldn’t be in extra innings when your team gives up no runs. This is on the offense. Masset is not a high-leverage guy.

  16. Well, this makes it an easier decision for choosing who to go when they call up Arodys.

  17. I would have went for the suicide squeeze in the ninth with 1 out. This loss is on our so called manager.

  18. @44 maybe, but it’s not like we had a good hitter at bat and we had an out to play with, and our bullpen can’t be relied on so it seems like a chance worth taking imo.

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