The Handsomest Guy in the World: Cheese Steaks and Franks 5 Braves 2

Hey, did you happen to see the handsomest guy in the world,
and Aaron Harang was pitching, oh he’s pitching.
Hey, if you happen to see the handsomest guy in the world,
Tell him we’re sorry. Tell him we need some pitching.
Oh, won’t you tell him, that we miss him.

I tuned in at 9, realized what Jeff Francouer had done.
4 for 4 from him somehow.
I pulled out my hair and I cried.
Braves tried to climb back in the thing.
And then came a catch by Odubel Herrera.
This is wrong and I sure see
The Braves world slipping away from me.

So, hey, we saw a pitcher give 3 runs after two outs.
Alex Wood in the first inning was dying, dying.
So, hey, if you happen to see the ugliest team in the world,
Tell Hart we’re happy. Tell him we like to watch this.
Oh, want you tell them, this is awful.

So, hey, if you happen to see a Braves game again this year,
Tell them they’re sorry.
Tell them they need some good play.
Oh, won’t you tell them they’re awful.

89 thoughts on “The Handsomest Guy in the World: Cheese Steaks and Franks 5 Braves 2”

  1. Adam R, previous thread: “It really sucks when your favorite player is terrible.”

    Tell me about it! But two hits and a small-ball RBI for Heyward last night. No telling if he’s actually comfortable again at the plate, though.

    Everyone, previous thread: Bravo, encore! What a way to start a Tuesday morning. Short stocks, the smallest ball, and the French Stench.

  2. When you pitch to a former player, who struck out every at bat in Atlanta on breaking balls in the dirt, when you give him an inside fast ball on an 0-2 count, you deserve to be beat. The height of dumb and dumber (AJ, Alex for not shaking, and Fredi for existing…)

  3. Yeah. Anyone on the Braves who doesn’t know that you don’t throw fastballs to Jeff Francoeur deserves everything they get. The fact that he went 4-4 strongly suggests that either the Braves pitchers or coaches utterly failed to prepare a gameplan to face him.

  4. ububba @ 6,

    My 500 population home town in South Georgia had a farmer / ag entrepreneur who built an Opry Barn. The year was about 1975. As in about 2500 seats of tiered seating.

    So, about 1976, Silver Fox (Charlie Rich) was the headliner and my parents had tickets. My parents came home raving about that cute little girl in the opening act that could do everything. That undercard act was Barbara Mandrell.

    So, I went to a show in about 1978. Undercard was the Masters Five (Hovie Lister, J. D. Sumner, and 3 other southern gospel guys that were surviving members of other groups) headlined by Ray Stevens. And Ray Stevens is a SPECTACULAR pianist.

  5. @csg from previous thread

    Sorry, I’m doing this zealous Fredi supporter character now who accuses everyone who criticizes Fredi of irrational hatred for him.

  6. @4, you Fredi haters are off the rails–wishing a person into non-existence simply because he’s one of the top 5 managers in baseball and that makes you furious.

  7. Ray Stevens? The streak? Kelly Johnson? I feel a nickname coming on… (Ray Ray?)

  8. #7
    That’s awesome. When in doubt, build it yourself.

    Yeah, a little bit like Jerry Reed, Ray Stevens was mostly known for all those novelty songs, but both guys could play.

  9. Kelly Johnson “has been insensed,” whenever he is in a streak that is good and “Don’t look Ethel” when it is bad. How does that do?

  10. This may have been discussed here already, but does anyone else think that AJ just calls a terrible game? He brings some nice offense for the time being, but I think CBeth needs to get some more time with the staff in this lost year. Maybe they are trying to protect his knees some.

    Edit: Catcher ERA: CBeth 2.88 AJ 5.33

  11. Cliff…was lsitening to JD on the way to work this morning, they were doing a 1975 live on the Elvis channel where the King tells him to go down and get it on the end of Just Love Me…glad to know there are others out there that appreciate the classic entertainers. Boy, could we use a few more now, ain’t but a few left. Kind of like this baseball stuff, ain’t a whold lot of passion left at the BIG level…I am having lots more fun going to watch the Carolina Mudcats (Braves Advanced 1-A). At least those guys are hungry.

  12. Roseman at 15.

    J. D. put on a show as part of the act. I don’t really read and know music, so I am not sure, but I think it was a Low A he hit that night. It is about 3 half steps under anything I think I have ever heard AND he could put volume on it.

    Ray made a joke when he started and said J. D. had had a vasectomy and they cut out 6 feet of cord.

  13. Amen Alex R, and Cliff…JD is the only man (I think) ever to sing off the end of the piano…amazing

  14. Glavine pointed out Frenchy was sitting on a fastball and questioned why they threw him one.

    Wood can shake off his catcher. Fredi can call the pitches (but that would require him to pay attention, which he is not capable of doing)

    Not only is he not top 5, he isn’t top 20.

  15. @17
    I can’t imagine taking pitch calling away from AJ Pierzynski and then having to live with him for the next five months. He’s going to be a nightmare by the end of the season.

  16. Great recap Cliff. I had to Google the song to remember the artist’s name. Getting old sucks. I have a bad case of CRS disease.

    Harang was at least kind enough to leave a vial of the pixie dust he has been using for AJP to find. I have passed the worry stage and am now fully alarmed at Wood’s lack of effectiveness. Not that it matters this season but I sure want him to grow this year so that when we become good again ………

  17. Oh, I agree. I just don’t know what precedent there is for taking pitch-calling away from a veteran catcher, and that guy on this team at this point in his career seems wholly unlikely to take one for the team. Frankly, I’d be looking to trade him asap.

  18. Also in Framing for the young season AJ 65th and CBeth 64th out of 68 tracked catchers.

  19. @19, this team could finish 162-0 and you would still be talking about how Fredi is the worst manager in MLB history. LOL@Uh8rs

  20. All kidding aside, it’s really not Fredi’s fault that this year’s team sucks.

    We’re at a severe disadvantage to the other NL East teams – they get to play us and we don’t get to play us.

  21. Well, they get to play against Uggla and Francoeur and… I lost where I was going with that and now I’m a little depressed.

  22. I can remember one Fredi decision that may or may not have cost us a game this year, and that was leaving Avilan out there for way too long in that disaster of a game where the Nationals came back from eight runs down. Otherwise, this team just sucks. That’s the problem, and there is no manager in the history of the game who could make it demonstrably better.

    They might let him go at the end of the year for sort of a sacrificial lamb thing, but I wouldn’t bet on. That really would be unfair, frankly. We had our chance to fire him at the end of last year and didn’t do it. It would’ve more or less been a reasonable decision to do so. We choose to keep him when we could’ve gone either way, though, and now we’re gonna run him off because he didn’t win in an impossible situation? I don’t see it.

  23. @26

    Well, if we went 162-0 I would build a statue of him in my yard. He’s not the worst manager ever. He is just not one of the top 20 in the game, IMO.

    Should we want a subpar manager running our team?

  24. I wouldn’t underestimate what the Johns would do to avoid accountability.

  25. Apparently Maybin is going to start getting the lion’s share of the PAs in CF now. About time.

  26. Dustin Peterson has gone 10-18 with 4 multi-hit games in his last 5. Slashing .282/.388/.465

  27. I saw DP live on Saturday, he is the real deal, he should be in Miss soon

  28. Is Keith Curcio a real prospect? Dude is hitting a ton in Rome. He is half a year older than the league if that is significant.

    @33 – I agree. Maybin’s BA sucks but he is drawing walks, plays better defense and has surprised with his HR power this season. So if he is walking and playing defense he is doing two things EYJ wasn’t doing.

  29. Williams Perez certainly looks like he ” rel=”nofollow”>contains multitudes. Get a load of that gut.

  30. I don’t take much stock in the discussion that pitcher’s ERAs are much higher when AJ catches, therefore he shouldn’t start. Again, I think it is small sample size syndrome. However, AJ should never ever start when Folty pitches. How many stolen bases did they have off him last game?

  31. Hey, as long as he’s hitting he’s worth putting out there. But catcher defense often deteriorates with age, and he’s old.

  32. That’s 10 GIDP’s for Andrelton so far this season. I wouldn’t think that was even possible 25 or whatever games in to the season.

  33. The Bench Braves are doing a good job proving that, well, it’s good to have a bench.

  34. That double was a Ryan Howard circa 2009 shot. He used to kill us to that left field gap.

  35. Remember when we had Eric O’Flaherty, the Howard Devour’r? Those were the days.

  36. Kelly’s going to disappear for about a month later this season, but Chris Johnson, Alberto Callapso, and Jace Peterson call all split time at third base once that happens, while we break Peraza in at second.

  37. Man, Bo Porter looked like he was going to be out at the plate there. Good thing they didn’t see him, he was 2/3 of the way down the line.

  38. That’s great for getting the bullpen rest. I feel like you need to get 6 to 8 complete games a year from your starters to keep the bullpen from maxing out. Sadly, I think only Miller and Teheran are capable of pitching complete games.

  39. Looks like I missed a great one tonight! One look at the score, though, and all I can think is, “silly Braves, Miller has been the only pitcher this year that has proven he doesn’t need a slew of runs to win—pick another night for an offensive explosion!” Looking at the thread, though, it sounds like the Phils gifted us with a lot of walks. Any way we can convince the opposing pitchers to issue a ton of walks when we really need the runs?

  40. I keep hearing people discuss this thing called a “complete game.” That must be one of those rare stats the crazy sabermetrics kids came up with, right?

  41. Oh, and here’s one from the Wayback Machine:

    The one in the middle is Kelly Johnson during the 2005 Braves rookie hazing.

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