Not That We Care: a guide to the playoffs, part 3

Life is hard.

Oh, sure, it’s easy to say “we should go kill the the Nazis!” I mean, Captain America was made to kill Nazis, right? But then you end up in this place where you have to be like, “ah, nah man; Stalin’s a totes bro. He just gets a lot of bad press from the haterz.” And then Josef’s like “what? It wasn’t 12 million people! Most of them were Slavs! And seriously, mane, who is gonna get up about a few Cossacks when there’s NAZIS to be killed? Amirite?!” It’s just never simple, is it? It just can’t be simple. Life is hard.

To whit:


Seems easy enough. But then you gotta square it against this.


Good lord.





Gods both old and new! Can’t we just build a pyre and sacrifice them all to the Fire God from Asshai? I give up.



Call me a bad person if you like. I feel better now.

69 thoughts on “Not That We Care: a guide to the playoffs, part 3”

  1. It’s not hard at all. The Giants are whatever. They’re a team. It would be nice if they didn’t win a third World Series in five years, but if they do, that will be a thing that happened, like when you’re walking on the street and you see a blue car.

    The Nationals are a group of egotistic children. They are dressing up in their parents’ clothes and pretending to be ballplayers. Their fans are vapid, disgusting bandwagoneers, many of whom “follow” the team because it’s good for one’s career and social life among a certain set. Wolf Blitzer is a Nationals fan. Luke Russert is a Nationals fan.

    And yes, Bryce Harper. The man should be banned for life for being the most posturing, preening, overhyped twerp to ever set foot on a major league diamond.

    There is no choice here. You don’t compromise with this kind of human filth. It’s not just that the Nationals must lose; they must be humiliated and crushed. The Giants must demolish them so badly that Bryce Harper weeps on live national television.

  2. @Adam R

    Mike Schmidt is a terrible writer.

    Anyway, I watched a video once of George Brett explaining to young Royals hitters how often he poops in his pants. Even considering the subject matter, he came across as weird and cloying–I can’t imagine anyone wanting to listen to him.

    I’m glad for Mike Schmidt’s sake that he was able to change. Sounds like it worked out for him. But I wonder what the hell his point is.

  3. So this will be Fredi’s 3rd (4th?) hitting coach and 3rd third-base coach. At some point we’ll surely find the right combination of bit-players to fill out this coaching staff. I want to call him Teflon Fredi but I don’t think it’ll stick.

    Oh well. ALL OF THEM was still the correct answer to the poll.

  4. Typically, when the Braves get eliminated, I will:
    a) rewatch the last inning of the 1992 NLCS
    b) begin rooting for the team with the smallest fan base (or at minimum, the team who’s winning will bring joy to the least number of people I despise).

    intangibles, Tim Hudson.

    gotta go giants this week.

    And congrats Smitty! I wish you and your family many years of joy.

  5. I don’t know what difference it will ultimately make, but I think the fans are generally less than thrilled about another year of Fredi.

  6. 9: That’s kind of over-determined. Not well-known when he came aboard, the team suffered a horrific collapse during his first season (I maintain that that wasn’t his fault, but still), took the blame for last year’s early exit, hasn’t really distinguished himself either way personality-wise, and he’s just presided over one of the most disappointing Braves squads since the ’80s. Of course the fans are ready for a change.

  7. Yep, remember the first collapse? We got an email from JS after that one. Then we had the ridiculous play in game that we lost. Two years later, another collapse. You can keep changing all the parts around Fredi, but at some point he’s got to be held accountable.

    We better have an exciting offseason because most fans have lost interest. There aren’t many people on the team that fans want to come watch play. It will become even more apparent if Gattis is traded and we get Bethancourt. Who else do people want to watch play on this team? Simmons defense and Kimbrel closing games? That’s about it.

  8. I guess my point is it’s not clear to the fans exactly what value Fredi has. No one has really made much of a case for why he should come back. I think 11 has it right – fans are losing interest in the club rapidly, and retaining Fredi is a clear signal that not much is going to change.

  9. I like to watch Teheran and Wood pitch and I like to watch Freddy scoop at first. Maybe Medlen can make it back. Medlen is very entertaining.

  10. @8 Thanks!

    Fredi is coming back because the FO thinks Wren was the problem. They are also going to name Hart as GM. Bo Porter will become the manager if Fredi is canned.

    While Fredi has the confidence of the FO, hiring Porter tells mr the leash is short.

  11. 12 – Spike, I still think you had it right the other day. GM is out – big change made. Shows that something about the status quo isn’t acceptable. If things continue to bore on the field (and we know it will take some amount of time to change), then they can change field managers.

    I do not think that’s the reason Fredi’s around — I think he has FO support — but it’s not a bad contingency plan. They’ve got a “big change” to make that’s sitting in their back pocket.

    Of course, without knowing the innerworkings and relationships in the FO, we’re all just making our best guesses with the information we have.

  12. If you take the glass-half-empty outlook (or the someone-stole-my-glass-and-broke-it-over-my-head outlook), then you might wonder if upper management already realizes we’re going to stink for a few years, and is going to keep Fredi around to scapegoat him. Then we get a shiny new guy in 2017 when NCS@WFF opens.

    Starting a new guy off next year might be difficult since we’re probably going to finish 3rd or 4th again.

  13. It’s pretty simple, really. Fredi Gonzalez is Bobby Cox’s “baseball son.” He’s an absolute protege. Cox loves him, believes in him, and supports him in all of the inter-office politicking down at Hank Aaron Drive. The rest of the org took a flyer a few years ago and went with Frank Wren over Bobby Cox (re: Chipper Cox left the org because of friction with Wren.) They believe that was a mistake now, and are changing course. Part of the course correction is to retain the Bobby Cox people (Fredi, Eddie Perez, Terry Pendlton) and dump the Frank Wren people (Walker, Dascenzo, etc.)

    Fredi will be on a short leash, with Bo Porter and Terry Pendleton on the “next in line” status. I wouldn’t be shocked to see Pendleton moved back to hitting coach.

  14. If Bo Porter ever becomes manager of the Braves…I can’t even finish that sentence.

    @19 That is ironic, because before he was demoted, most Braves fans couldn’t stand him in that position. It be worth some laughs now to go back and read some of the threads on this blog from that era. Coaching is a job I’d never want, because nobody ever likes you.

  15. Boy, Delmon Young sure gets some big hits in the post-season.

    And boy, does Detroit’s bullpen smell like a landfill after a rainstorm.

  16. Would I trade Shae Simmons or David Carpenter, or really, any reliever not named Kimbrel, for Rajai Davis? Yes. Yes I would.

  17. There was a time when Joba Chamberlain & Joakim Soria were effective relievers, but that was awhile ago.

    I hate that I’m reduced to rooting against people in the NL, so… yeah, go Giants.

  18. I sort of like that they came back and made their fans suffer false hope even more than the shut out. It bears mentioning that the Nats were 8-11 against the Braves team we so very much grew to hate, and that they didn’t get many of those wins until the Braves offense utterly collapsed down the stretch. It being the case that the Giants are something akin to the Braves (lock down starting) with a cromulent offense instead of the dumpster fire we have, I think their reasonably well positioned to win this series.

  19. Am I the only one who remembers that Tim Hudson was the organizer of the “No one catch Chipper’s ceremonial first pitch,” charade? I have no love for Tim Hudson. I hope Tim Hudson has a long, healthy career, and loses every game he pitches, and loses it badly. The only reason I hope his career is long and healthy, is so that he’ll have no excuse for losing every game.

  20. As I recall, Chipper made public statements about how his ex-teammates were going to lose. That’s not exactly being loyal to your friends. Good for Hudson.

  21. @34, I’m with you all the way .

    BTW, pretty outrageous comeback going on the the Cards/Doyers game. I hate the Cards, but watching Kershaw get humbled is pretty awesome too.

  22. @35 – Perhaps a better course of action would be to embarrass him by proving him wrong, rather than embarrassing him in a juvenile fashion, and then embarrassing themselves by proving him exactly right. (He was asked on the radio for a prediction, and he said Dodgers in 4. Then the embarrassing bunch of losers lost in 4.)

  23. Harold Reynolds is convinced that the Cards were stealing pitch signs that whole inning. Of course he’s convinced of a lot of dumb stuff, but I think I’d buy that one. That would be a nice way to explain the Cards ridiculous amount of success in clutch situations. Either that or the Gods just love them.

  24. I don’t get why Mattingly didn’t PH for Gordon with runners at second and third and one out. They’ve got Barney as a defensive backup.

  25. It’s becoming more and more apparent that there was something about Wren that people in the organization did not like. Roy Clark is back with the Braves after many years rebuilding the Nationals and 1 year with the Dodgers. This is very good news. No word on his role.

  26. Why can’t it be as simple as Wren replaced our old more-successful scouting/development people with his own less-successful people? Wren wanted things done his way (not Bobby’s), it didn’t work out well enough, and we can’t seem to fire anybody without personally insulting them on their way out the door no matter who they are.

  27. I have been watching just intense sports for 12 hours now. Finally, i am my fathers son.

    17 innings. damn.

  28. just read a tweet reminding me that Tim Hudson started the 18 inning debacle in the 1995 NLDS. Now even the joy I feel at the Nats misery is empty.

  29. wait a minute – 2005. My daughter was being born. I thought we had it won only to come out during labor to see L’affaire Farnsworth

  30. 2005?

    Been junking out on SEC football pretty hard today, too. The Top 10 really has gone belly-up this weekend.

    My gal & I went out to dinner after Kung Fu Panda kicked it into extras. Got back in time to see Belt belt one.

    Die, Nationals…

  31. Ahhahahahahahahahah!!! Eat it, Washington!

    This has been an awful sports day for me, but that was a brief ray of sunshine right there.

  32. Auburn won’t be number one this weekend, but damned if they don’t look like it. That was a brutal beatdown of a program with a good coach and a ton of blue chip players. Mercy, that was a whipping.

    Shame anyone had to lose that, but if you had to pick one….

  33. I didn’t watch the SF-WSH game, but I watched the clip of the Giants tying the game in the 9th and Posey being cut down at the plate while trying to take the lead.

    Gameday has Harper with an outfield assist for throwing out Posey at home, but on that hit by Sandoval it was the relay that got Posey out. Was Posey actually thrown out TWICE at home plate in this game, or is Gameday being stupid, or do I not understand that an outfielder gets an assist on a relay throw?

    Also, very satisfying to see the gnats lose, and expend a ton of energy in doing so, and be emotionally distressed. :)

  34. @60

    Everybody who makes a throw on a play like that gets an assist. The chain is only broken if there’s a misplay in there somewhere. So both Harper and the infielder get assists. Only Harper gets an outfield assist, though, because only outfielders can get outfield assists.

    I know we can’t have everything, but it would be nice if the Cards (who are every bit as loathsome as the Nats) would collapse like a rusty folding chair to the degree that their Washington counterparts are.

  35. @62,
    Thanks for the clarification. I didn’t know that’s how it worked.

    While I’m asking dumb questions, what does “JC’d” stand for in the parlance of this blog?

  36. “JC’d: To make a comment roughly simultaneously with a new post or game thread going up. Happened to JC Bradbury a lot at one point. (Added May 30, 2011.)”

    Check out the Glossary link at the top of the page. Most everything’s listed. Lots of fun reading there!

  37. Given the Braves impotence for the last 3 months, this soul-crushing of the Nationals is just about the best outcome that has been possible for the season since early August. Who cares what happens after the Nats get swept in the first round including an 18-inning, 1-run loss? They should hang a banner for this series at Turner Field. The ’95 series and the ’14 Nats collapse – these are your Atlanta franchise highlights.

  38. I would like to see the Braves win some meaningful October games again in my lifetime. If the Nats, Phils, Dodgers, Cards, Yankees and Red Sox lose those games, so much the better.

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