Senior Citizens 7, young’ uns, whooped in the _ _ _.

This week, the Phillies became the 4th team in Major League history to have 4 players 34 or older receive 550 plate appearances. Ruben Amaro, Jr. is trying to make sure Ryan Howard is playing so they can get Howard traded. Did he learn from Wren, or Wren learn from Amaro.?
So, one of the worst offensive teams in the modern history of baseball (maybe that is an exaggeration, but only slight) faced the best pitcher the Phillies had, Cole Hamels. We countered with the best we have, Julio Teheran.

First inning, 1, 2, 3. We bring up Jason Heyward. Walk. Then, after a Heyward steal, Emilio Bonifacio walked. Then a double steal. Runners 2nd and 3rd, no out, bottom of first inning. The high point of the Barves’ offense for the day.

The Phillies finally scored one in the 3rd. You had the feeling there that they might not need another one. They didn’t.

They tacked on one in the 6th. Then, the dam burst in the 7th. Meanwhile, Hamels came out for a pinch hitter and had given up 5 walks, but NO hits.

Jacob Diekman pitched the 7th with NO hits.

Ken Giles pitched the 8th with NO hits.

The wretched refuse of our relief corps’ teeming shore then gave up 2 more in the top of the 9th.
So, with it 7 to nothing, in comes Jonathan Pappelbon. And, set to greet him is Justin Upton. Wait, no pinch hitting is Jose Constanza. I know WPA tells us our WP was less than 1%, but if that isn’t running up the white flag, what is? So, out, out, out damn Barves. A staff no hitter.

And, occasionally we ask why we don’t like the 2014 Braves. They make me want to Barv.

45 thoughts on “Senior Citizens 7, young’ uns, whooped in the _ _ _.”

  1. Had everyone else already figured out that “Barves” is plural for barf? Cliff just enlightened me.

    Cliff, I’d be more effusive if I wasn’t so underwhelmed by the afternoon.

  2. At some point you must stop pretending that Teheran is our best pitcher; he might be our second or third best. Also, he’s not, at this time, a legitimate number-one-in-the-rotation. Santana and West have been markedly better over the last few weeks; maybe even Minor. He’s been not-at-his-best too many times in “big” games. Like today. Yes, he is still VERY young.

  3. I assume your referring to Wood as “West” for some reason. I think we should ban all post complaining about pitching performances. It’s the offense that’s the problem.

  4. How were the Miracle Braves faring this day in 1914? The 2014 collapse has me pining for the good old days.

  5. I want to be clear that I am not advocating this, but if one were to YouTube “genesis turn it on again live” and witness the odd mannerisms of the sweaty, exhausted front man…I dunno. Like I said, I’m not advocating it.

  6. 7-0 in a no-hitter, I would accept the pinch-hitting as “throwing stuff against the wall”

    It was weird though.

  7. I have given up on this group. Forget it. Let’s just start losing to get a better draft position.

    And csg is right, let’s not even complain about the pitching for a minute. This year’s fault is all on the offense. I love Wren, but he really needs some help on these big contracts. We have 30m stuck on nothing. And I am really not a fan of the CJ extension.

  8. At this point, I’d have to stop short of praising Wren for the job he’s done.

    Especially when you consider that he very well could have brought us Furcal, Griffey, Dempster…and it was sheer luck that saved us from all of the above.

    EDIT: Can you imagine if we had traded Delgado for Dempster, and then couldn’t have dealt for Justin without losing Teheran? Wow.

    He’s done quite a lot of good and also made some huge mistakes. The CJ extension makes me think he’s not learning from them, though, and we can’t continue on like this. It’s scary, because being a GM is tough and it’s not unlikely that any replacement would be worse than Wren has been.

  9. Sucks, but… eh, it’s a loss. Last 2 times we got no-hit (’04 Randy Johnson, ’10 Ubaldo Jimenez), we still made the playoffs. Win the series & move on. There’s still a month of baseball to play.

  10. @18 – I wouldn’t be too concerned about today, but the last 3 games have been disturbing. We scored 1 run on 20 hits in the previous two games.

  11. Got to see the local team douse themselves in champagne tonight. It was a ridiculous game too. The final line was:

    0 0 0 3 0 1 1 0 3 8 11 2
    0 0 0 0 2 1 2 4 X 9 11 3

    The second baseman dropped a routine fly ball that would have been the third out in the ninth inning. They hit another one to him the very next batter with runners on second and third, and he caught it. Justin Verlander’s little brother is on the team as well. All of this in a must win game.

    I suppose it’s kind of sad that the most baseball related excitement I’ve had this year involved the New York-Penn League…

  12. #19
    The offense has been disturbing all year, just as the club has been freakishly streaky. Hopefully, there’s still another good streak left.

  13. The best streak we have going is the losing one in Milwaukee. Therein lies the hope of a crushing defeat by the Giants in the play in game

    Otherwise, we’re…well, you know

  14. I understand why he extended Johnson. We didn’t have any good organizational options, and it looked like he was capable of being roughly league average — and $8 million a year for a league-average guy is a really good buy. Of course, based on his past track record, there was a good chance that Regression would regress, which is exactly what happened, and it made the extension look bad immediately. It was a risk that didn’t work out. A lot of the risks he’s taken have worked out, and all in all, he’s taken us to the playoffs multiple times.

    But this offense is his offense, and their incompetence falls on his head. He’s still a top-10 GM for me, but the payroll means he doesn’t have a lot of margin for error. This year, the errors compounded.

  15. @24 Seconded. Folks tend to concentrate on the negative. Wren is the same guy that cut Freddie Garcia and obtained Aaron Harang, and went the extra mile to get Ervin Santana. Where would we be without those two guys?

    Overall I think Wren and the FO have been good. BJ, Uggla and Johnson this year and our overall offensive ineptitude magnify the negative.

  16. We’re likely to miss the playoffs in a year we were supposed to contend, so it’s kind of hard not to focus on the negative. Given that the outcome looks to be decidedly negative.

    When you already have BJ, Uggla, Andrelton, and a pitcher in your lineup, not having a 3B in your system isn’t a good enough reason to extend CJ. It really isn’t. I just hope we can trade CJ to a team that’s starting to rebuild before we have to watch his age 30 season play out. Before he declines further. Sigh.

    We as commenters on a website get to say that there were no other options we were aware of. It’s Wren’s job to find better options, platoon partners, something, anything.

  17. Where would we be without those two guys?

    To speak directly to the question, we’d be exactly where we are now: on the outside of the playoffs looking in. I’m sure Liberty must be thrilled with Wren to have spent extra on Santana…

  18. Everybody keeps ripping the CJ extension, but that just doesn’t hold up.

    This year was arb 2 for CJ and was in the books at 4.75. Real FA market was already looking like 7 mil per war. Real arb at even the average of his non 2013 years would have gotten him the same money in 2015 and 2016 (6 and 7.5). If he had repeated something closer to 2013, there were big savings built in, in exchange for the guaranty.

    The next year has a 1 mill buyout or a 10 mill pure club option.

    Despite underperformance, looking at the cost per WAR on the FA market, taking into account that 2013 was likely a career year and averaging his earlier career, and looking at his hitting since April, this contract can be moved and get something back.

  19. Echo on “platoon partners” there, re: Johnson. He needs to hit against lefties and sit against righties.

  20. @27 – Nope. We’d be below .500 and TOTALLY out of it. Despite the smell of death around here, we are still in it.

    At the start of the season I thought it was within reason to believe that BUpton would turn it around somewhat and that Simmons wouldn’t suck as bad as he has offensively this year. Playing Uggla was a waste of a month. It just so happens that month was the best stretch of play this season. Everybody is a genius in hindsight. I didn’t like the CJ extension but I didn’t hate it either. Who knows maybe he is an every other season guy.

  21. The best part of yesterday was Constanza pinch hitting for JUpton. Maybe this is Fredi’s silent cry for help.

  22. That might have been Fredi wanting to get Georgie an AB; he likes to get his call-ups some work right off the bat.

    It might have been that Justin pissed somebody off.

  23. @32

    If a no-hitter wasn’t going on, nobody really would’ve batted an eye. We were completely out of the game and he was just getting Constanza an at-bat. Since there was a no-hitter going on and he took his best current hitter out of the lineup to get Constanza the at-bat, it raised some eyebrows. However, Upton was obviously at least 70 percent likely to not get a hit, anyway, and I doubt Fredi really saw much difference between getting no-hit and getting shut out 7-0 in a one-hitter…and if that’s the case, he’s probably right.

  24. I don’t think it’s a big deal, I just find it hilarious that we’re at the point of the season where Constanza needs to get his ABs.

  25. Well, thanks a lot sansho1. I had no idea what the “Penske file” was, so after Googling it and then watching subsequent YouTube videos, I’ve now spent the last 20 minutes watching Seinfeld YouTube compilations. No productivity today!

  26. @26 we’re still a 40 percent chance to make the playoffs on the second of September. While this might qualify as “likely to miss the playoffs,” it certainly doesn’t mean we aren’t contending. If we’re mathematically eliminated before the last week of the Season then you can carp.

  27. It’s too late. This is not where I had set my expectations for this team.

    And we just got no-hit. By the PHILLIES.

    If this place is for anything at all, it is for carping, and I am in full-on carp mode.

  28. Look, I’m as frustrated as any by this bunch but let’s look at the last few series:
    Swept OAK (3-0), 2-1 at Pit, 2-2 at Cin, 2-1 at NYM, 2-1 and 2-1 vs Mia. That’s 11-5 before yesterday and this 3-game set with Phi is still winnable as we face Kendrick and Buchanan and counter with Minor and Santana.

  29. Last 114 games, 55-59 record. This team/offense isn’t good enough. I fully expect to see Fredi starting Bethancourt down the stretch over Gattis, just because he’s our “future”.

  30. We’re 72-66 in our last 138. I think you can find a reason to be happy or sad about that record, but ignoring the parts of the season we played well is as silly as ignoring the parts of the season we’ve played poorly.

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