No, I don’t believe it either, but for one, brief, shining, moment, the laws of physics ceased to apply, cats and dogs started living together, and B.J. Upton went 2-5. The rest of the Braves offense was so incredulous that they collected 14 hits — including an RBI single by the master of the bunt double play, Aaron Harang — and solved Fermat’s Last Theorem, probably.
It was only the seventh time all year that the Braves ran their score into the double digits, and the 17th time that B.J. had a multihit game. (Three of the seven double-digit outbursts occurred during a Bupton multihit game, which implies that there is some kind of correlation between his specific horribleness and the offense’s general horribleness. But you probably didn’t need me to tell you that.)
Aaron Harang gave the bullpen a breather, as he pitched into the ninth inning and allowed three runs on nine hits. And he didn’t walk anybody, which is the right strategy when your team scores eleven runs for you.
Justin Upton is in one of those hot streaks of his. He hit a majestic three-run homer, his third dinger in his last five games. Meanwhile his former team, the Diamondbacks, is 20 games below .500 and just lost 8-1 to the Nationals last night, while Randall Delgado has a 6.00 ERA and Martin Prado was salary dumped to the Yankees at the trade deadline. It’s a good thing they’re dumb. Because if they hadn’t traded us their best player, we wouldn’t have a prayer this year.