An Incredibly Outdated Joke, June 19 Game Thread

So, there’s this beatnik, and he goes into a diner. He sits down at the counter and asks the waitress, “What kind of pie do you have?” She replies, “Right now, we have peach, apple, and cherry. The blueberry pie is gone.” “Far out!” the beatnik says. “Slide me a piece of that crazy blueberry pie!”

My calculus teacher told me that joke, probably something like 13 years ago. There are more efficient versions online, like this one, but what the hell, that’s how I tell it and it’s basically how I remember him telling it.


This team is terrible. Here’s one of my favorite songs.

66 thoughts on “An Incredibly Outdated Joke, June 19 Game Thread”

  1. From last thread…
    Peraza promoted to AA and James Hoyt to AAA. There’s an outside chance we see both for cups of coffee, Hoyt sooner than Peraza who’d likely be a September callup if anything.

  2. I like Supergrass. “It’s Not Me” FTW.

    @krussell from the last thread:
    the main point of the article is that good offensive players provide a positive feedback loop – basically the lineup turns over faster and the good hitters get more ABs – such that the whole is greater than the sum of the parts. He is arguing that the linear models, which try to isolate a player’s contribution, are not taking this feedback loop into account.
    I think that’s a very good point about the offense. I’m not sure if the same is true on defense?

    I haven’t read the HBT article yet, but I don’t see why it wouldn’t be the same on defense. A good defender makes plays that stop the other team’s lineup from turning over and the better hitters from getting to the plate over and over, right?

  3. I’m certain there must be a positive feedback loop on defense at the individual play level — a double-play combo who consistently give each other chest-level throws at the second base bag, a first baseman good at scooping, relay throws from the outfield, etc.

  4. The obvious: This is just a tough team to follow right now.

    Clubs that don’t hit at all in big spots are just soul-destroying enterprises. I can only hope our “hitting luck” changes, but the all-or-nothing approach has given us a lotta nothing for awhile now.

    Here’s to keeping the Nationals under our boot heels.

  5. @4,

    I’m sure someone like Simmons creates a positive feedback by reducing the area that CJ has to cover. He isn’t a great 3B, but if he has less ground to cover, that means he has fewer difficult plays to make. At least that’s my theory. I would assume the same with outfielders, especially centerfielders, who reduce the ground lesser outfielders have to cover and therefore make them more competent.

    I’m not sure, though, that increasing the number of great defenders would have the same effect as increasing the number of good hitters. Having three centerfielders in the outfield, I would suspect, would not increase the number of plays made exponentially because some % of those plays would be made anyway by the CF. To some extent, the presence of one great defender will take away opportunities from another. On offense, having more good hitters is going to exponentially increase the number of runs because each hitter’s opportunity is independent of the guy before him; e.g., in theory, each hitter could hit a home run. But only one fielder can make a play on a hit ball.

    I have no idea if that makes any sense but those are my thoughts.

  6. Juan Jaime has crazy good stuff but should ABSOLUTELY NOT EVER!, EVER!!, EVER!!!! come into an inning with runners on base. He might walk the entire lineup any given night.

  7. BTW, they are calling for thunderstorms here (DC) this afternoon/evening and it looks pretty bad right now. I suspect there will be at least one delay.

  8. @8

    Oh no, not a rain delay. I will have to watch Evan Gattis’ story for the 100th time.

  9. Well, no official batting order up yet, so I am going to guess what it will be.

    1. La Stella
    2. Simmons
    3. Freeman
    4. Gattis
    5. J. Upton
    6. Heyward
    7. B.J. Upton
    8. Johnson

    I bet I am wrong because I never have any clue what Fredi is thinking when he does lineups, but it is worth a shot after seeing how he constructed the lineup yesterday with some regulars out.

  10. Well, I was way off. Batting order today is as follows:

    1. La Stella
    2. B.J. Upton
    3. Freeman
    4. Gattis
    5. Heyward
    6. Johnson
    7. Doumit
    8. Simmons
    9. Floyd

    I wonder what is going on with J. Upton. Dizziness does not keep you out of multiple games unless its a symptom of something more serious that is longer lasting. Hopefully, it is just something viral.

    Also, I know Doumit went 3/4 yesterday, but Schafer has looked so much better at the plate lately. This was a good chance to get him a game against a right hander. Also, bat him second and let him lay down some bunts getting La Stella over and possibly even beating them out with his speed. Oh well, I hope it works out. Also, does anybody know what is going on with J. Upton?

  11. Hi Salty. Welcome.

    You have a real interest in getting guys who don’t get on base a lot of plate appearances at the top of the line-up that I’m not sure I understand. Andrelton Simmons and Jordan Schafer do not belong in our top-6. Neither does BJ upton for that matter.

    My dream line-up is something like:

    [3B that we trade Chris Johnson for]
    Bossman Junior
    Persian Julius, disguised as whoever the scheduled starting pitcher is.

  12. I know he’s having a down year, but what would it take for the Braves to pry Zobrist away? He’s 33 so you wouldn’t want to give up too much for him, but he would be a huge boost for this team.

  13. @13

    J. Upton, C. Johnson, and B.J. Upton are all in the top 20 in the league in swinging strikes. None of them belong in the top three of the lineup. You want your contact guys up top.

    La Stella number one right now makes sense. Simmons is the only Brave in the top 50 in the league in contact percentage among qualifiers. Plus, he has benefited by having cushion behind him to the tune of a career .314 average from the 2-hole because he sees more strikes. Johnson is not great but for a bottom of the order bat you could do worse. People just got jaded by his career year last year. I put Heyward at 6 because it would be nice to have that speed, power, and contact behind Gattis and J. Upton.

    Those are the reasons I put that lineup @10, and also, I took the previous day’s order into account. Also, barring a miracle, do not plan on us picking up an everyday bat in any trades. It is just probably not going to happen. We have to work with what we have.

  14. The only thing that matters at the top of the lineup is on-base percentage. Justin Upton would be a good fit in the 2 spot.

  15. @18

    If you only look at OBP which I will not argue with the fact that it makes sense:


    La Stella
    J. Upton
    B.J. Upton

    Actually, that doesn’t look half bad @braves14. Maybe, we should take it to Fredi. Think he would say “No” that just makes to much sense? We could argue that it fits his not having two lefties batting back to back which he might go for, LOL.

  16. Bases loaded, one out … and here comes the GIDP machine.

    EDIT: Wow. Game of centimeters.

  17. @5 You are speaking my mind. I am slowly losing interest in following this team. I am such a bad fan!

  18. I am so happy right now. I cannot remember the last time the Braves followed a run producing inning with a three up three down inning. Way to go guys.

  19. BJ Upton just got called out looking on a 3-2 pitch that definitely appeared to be high and tight. I’m conflicted here… on one hand I hate seeming a Braves player get jobbed but on the other I don’t want to support BJ’s incessant bitching about called third strikes.

  20. I generally side with the umpire when B.J. watches a third strike, but in this case, I kind of have to side with B.J. The pitch just looked way to high and inside.

  21. I swear. How in the world is this happening to the Braves? Floyd just had the same look on his face that Medlen did in spring training. Let’s all keep our fingers crossed.

  22. With our luck with pitching injuries, its no wonder we draft so many dang pitchers.

  23. Yeah Floyd was absolutely cruising and then he was just walking off the mound. The abruptness of that development leads me to believe he is done.

    Ah, I note on the replay that he was hurting after the first pitch to Werth and it just got worse. Still, I think he’s done. Dammit.

  24. Talking about a giant lump on the underside of his pitching elbow…maybe it’s just a mouse who burrowed in there and has to be coaxed out with a fat wheel of gouda?

  25. We really need to look at how we deal with TJ guys. This could be our 4th in a year. That isn’t a fluke.

  26. Did y’all see the swelling on that elbow? This is no good. Floyd has been doing such a good job.

  27. @39, Perhaps, if we’re bringing guys back too aggressively. Or having them do things during their rehab that other teams aren’t doing.

  28. Y’all, my bad. Just before the injury I mentioned “Floyd” and “doctor” in the same breath.

    (post #26 here)

    I’m awaiting my sentence. Be merciful.

  29. @37 and @40

    The reason Floyd came to the Braves instead of some of the other teams is because of their reputation with handling guys post TJ surgery. We have had many players come back and have great success post TJ surgery. This is just a fluke year. None of the injuries have been due to overworking or bringing guys back to soon. If anything, we baby our TJ pitchers by shutting them down for weeks at a time at the first sign of any issues such as Venters right now and Beachey last year which did little good in his case.

    Floyd has even stated this in interviews.

  30. @41, No, dude, I made the move to add Floyd to my fantasy team right as the injury took place. It’s my bad.

  31. anybody have any experience with bursitis? swelling like Floyd’s looks suspiciously like what I had in my knee once. Antibiotics and rest? #bestcasescenario?

  32. Jason Heyward has hit three back-to-back soft flies tonight, all of which barely left the infield…two different pitchers, identical results…someone who understands the technicalities of the swing tell me what this means please, how is it possible, what is he technically doing wrong?

  33. @42 WIth what’s going on this year, I don’t think whatever the Braves doing works anymore.

  34. @46

    I am familiar with bursitis. It would be best case scenario, but usually, the swelling involved is gradual with it. The swelling on his elbow looked very acute, and you could tell with the look on his face that this was not something that was gradual like bursitis. It was definitely something that happened quickly. I do hope for bursitis though. I just do not think it is that.

    Also, like with Medlen. These guys usually know when it is the ligament because they remember that feeling from the first time. He had that same face we all saw in spring training with Medlen.

  35. Did Gattis get issued a darker uni than the rest of the team? or has he sweated through the thing completely? If the latter, I propose we wring it out into a tub and make all of our pitchers soak in it.

  36. Shocking, as always, to look at BJ Upton with an o-fer and 2 strikeouts out of the 2-hole while everyone else in the top 6 is hitting like they came to play.

  37. @49

    I have no clue what is going on this year. It is odd, but I would look at is as more just crappy lucky. Also, we have a ton of pitchers who have had TJ surgery. Dr. Andrew did say in a recent interview that one surgery puts you at increased risk for it happening again. Having a staff chocked full of former TJ surgery would seem to be asking for this type of situation.

  38. Crap i missed it. Floyd was yanked with an injury?
    Just saw the video. That is wild how quick it swelled. My Knee did that after I tore my ACL.

  39. Paul Byrd is a pleasant addition filling in for Joe. Learned something. Who’s listening to KO these days – his editorial rants are consistently brave. Most of the rest is either acerbic, hilarious or simply informative, NEW!

  40. @55

    Floyd yanked himself. He looked at the dugout to tell the trainer to come out. Trainer came out. He looked and said, “Damn it.” Floyd walked off with the field sporting the Kris Medlen “this sucks” face with a huge knot forming on his elbow.

    They just showed the replay. Prior to the pitch, no swelling. After pitch, super swell time.

  41. Well I hate it for Floyd. I haven’t seen the video just yet but this thread doesn’t sound good. Alex Wood’s next start just might have to be in Atlanta. Guess this will eliminate the trade talk of moving a starter. Unless Harang is still on the block and we move hale back to the rotation.

    Brian Jordan mentioned it could be scar tissue??

  42. @62

    I hope it is scar tissue but that amount of swelling that fast is just worrisome. Best case scenario, he misses a few starts, but with our luck this year, who knows?

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