Immediately following tonight’s game I had to go to my daughter’s school ice cream social, where we found out who her 2nd grade teacher will be (school starts a lot later in the Pacific Northwest than in the South, where memories of an agrarian past still subconsciously rule the schedule), so apologies for getting this up latish. I’ll be brief and to the point, because the Braves certainly were.
Any memories of the 2010 no-no pitched at Turner Field by Ubaldo “Weirdest Given Name Since Edgmer” Jimenez were flushed away by Brian “Please Re-Sign Me” McCann’s nineteenth long ball of the season, which ushered Kris “Aaron Paul Understudy” Medlen and Justin “In the OED Next to the Word ‘Enigmatic’ There’s a Picture of My Rookie Card” Upton across the plate before him. That was all Jesse Pinkman, Jr. (“Aerodynamics, bitch!”) would need, as he was firing on all cylinders: seven innings of six-hit ball on 96 pitches (65 of them strikes; he had six Ks on the night). It was perhaps his best-looking performance of the season, and, as the Atlanta nine coast toward the postseason, it brings a smile to the face. That’s precisely the sort of thing we need to see out of our remaining starters right now, because anything Beachy adds must be considered a bonus at this point.
Success! followed up the solid leadoff hitting of the last two nights with, well, uno sombrero de oro (Failure!), but The Reason picked him up by hitting two doubles (and BMac was 2-for-4). JUp managed two bloopy-looking, lucky-rather-than-good singles before the contract hit the other 29 Major League teams have put out on Braves players came due once again, in the guise of a Jimenez fastball off Upton’s left hand. X-rays were negative and the (“he’s just a”) JUpster (“for your love”) (what, nobody remembers Marc Bolan and T-Rex?) is day-to-day with a contusion, which is lucky for Ubaldo because there’s gonna be some serious Jets-Sharks action all up in somebody’s face if one more of our guys goes down to the DL because yet another adrenaline-filled pitcher “loses” one of his pitches and, like, literally cracks some poor Brave’s skull open. I mean, for crying out loud. “Tonight, tonight/I’ll break your jaw tonight…”
Other events of note: Dan “Running Out of Excuses” Uggla continued his torrid return from LASIK surgery by going 0-for-3 with two strikeouts. Cleveland had some scattered chances, but they didn’t come close to cashing most of them in; only David Carpenter ruined what would have been Atlanta’s second shutout of the Tribe in three nights by coming in in the 8th and promptly serving up a gopher ball to Lonnie Chisenhall, who is apparently no relation to Lonnie Smith. On the other end of the ‘awesome” scale, Craig Kimbrel notched his 43rd save while lowering his ERA to a blistering 0.97. I said God-damn.
Sweeps are good for the soul. Now let’s break out the chum and go fishing.
(Magic number: 17)