Rant from the beyond

Through techniques I am, unfortunately, unable to divulge, I have been able to contact a prominent American League owner who is, unfortunately, recently deceased. He was very concerned with the American League’s performance in the All-Star Game and wanted to get some things off his, alas, now incorporeal chest.

First of all, I want to congratulate the National League for its victory last night. But I am embarrassed for the American League, for the owners of the American League teams, and most of all for the fans of the American League. The players in this game did not uphold the storied tradition of the American League. It looked to me like they didn’t really care if they won or not, that, that they didn’t have any pride in their jobs. David Ortiz, that’s just a lack of hustle there, you can’t get forced out at second on a fly ball and tell me that you’re playing heads-up baseball.

Look, we lost the game with Matt Thornton on the mound. I mean, who the hell is Matt Thornton? You’re telling me that this is the third-best reliever in the American League? I can think of six pitchers I would rather have had out there to pitch the seventh inning! This is the All-Star Game for God’s sake! You have to go with your best! And Phil Hughes is a good kid with a bright future, but he’s no C. C. Sabathia, and if I were consulted I would have made damned sure that Sabathia was on the team and ready to pitch.

Joe Girardi is a nice guy and a good manager, but Charlie Manuel simply outclassed him last night. We’re paying Alex Rodriguez all this money, and he doesn’t even get off the bench! How does that happen? I think Joe choked, and if he doesn’t do better next time I think we’ll have to make a change in how the managers are selected for the All-Star Game. You’re telling me that Ozzie Guillen would have gotten caught not being able to pinch-run for Ortiz in the ninth? You think that Mike Sciocia would have let Rodriguez rot on the bench?

I know some will say that this was “just an exhibition”, but this game counts! It says it right there! And the American League fans know it! You can’t let the National League grab the momentum, or the fans will start thinking that they should go watch National League games instead of American League games. You just can’t let it happen!

Thanks to the gentleman in question for taking the time to share this with us, if time really has any meaning to him anymore.

41 thoughts on “Rant from the beyond”

  1. AFN radio starts every hour with AP news. The first time I heard it this afternoon, their ASG report was that the AL had lost and they had a clip from David Ortiz. The second time they at least mentioned that the NL won, but this time it was Joe Girardi featured. At least he mentioned McCann (although he described it as a “base hit”). Neither time did the AP mention the Pimpbot. Jackasses.

  2. Mac;
    That is the finest piece of satire I’ve read in 20 years.
    I guess the fire to win burns on through Eternity.
    R.I.P. Boss.

  3. Because it amuses me at times… I checked Metsblog to see what they had up for the AS Game, and it’s still a game thread… which ends with several people cheering for the Mets (not the NL) getting home-field advantage for the WS. See this? It’s the cart… and WAAAAY back there is the horse.

  4. Mac, that was one of your better writings…nice work. I think that honors the Boss very well. Even as a Braves fan, baseball will never be the same without George.

    Waking up I was STILL excited about Brian being the hero for the NL last night, knowing his hit ended 14 yrs of misery. Feels right now, like it could be the year we get back to the Fall Classic.

  5. Is it an omen that McCann won the home field for the NL? I sure hope so.

    As much of an asshole as Steinbrenner was at times, it sounds like his old man was an A-1 SOB, which probably explains a lot about George. Anyway, he wasn’t much different than other powerful men, just more in the public eye. Working for Lyndon Johnson, for example, wasn’t much fun either. But it is typical of how a person’s bad acts get swept under the rug when they die and people turn lyrical in describing them. (Similarly, when they win championships, see Kobe Bryant and how people have forgotten about his little rape/adultery incident. It will happen if Ben Roethlisberger wins another Super Bowl.) Steinbrenner was, in fact, as Reggie Jackson noted, a felon. On the other hand, he did for Yankee fans what all owners should do–whatever it took to win.

  6. This satirical rant hits on the reason the NL won the game. Girardi and Manuel were managing two completely different kinds of games.

    Managers matter more in the All-Star game than other games because they select a good chunk of the roster, nine players plus the injury replacements. I had a gut feeling the NL would have a better shot at winning when Manuel picked Infante. Whether Infante was the best choice is debatable, but he had the right idea. He was picking a team to win the game, not to give the best players in his league the honor of being All-Stars. This is how World Series home field advantage influences the game. I was hoping that philosophy would carry over to the game, and it did.

    During the game, Girardi emptied his bench (save A-Rod) so the fans could see all of the stars play. Manuel made sure to keep a couple of guys out. Wigginton, for example, did not bat in the game, but he played, and he couldn’t come back in unless a guy was injured. Infante, on the other hand, did not play. Wigginton would have been perfect to pinch-run for Ortiz. I’m guessing he didn’t play A-Rod because A-Rod is a Yankee, and running without warming up could get him hurt or something.

    These are small choices, but they mean something. What makes this kind of weird is that the Yanks have the best record in baseball while the Phils are third in their division. You’d think Girardi would want it more. Instead, Girardi does things like play Wigginton on defense for a half inning and keep A-Rod on the bench even after Beltre finishes his PA.

  7. McCann won the MVP award last night, but how good was the NL pitching and defense? Braun, Phillips, Byrd all made great plays on the field.

    Pitching and defense wins….at least none of the AL pitchers had to run the bases. George would’ve been turning over

  8. Only if a position player is injured after all other position players have been used. (This is in addition to the catcher re-entry rule.)

  9. @11, reading BP:

    “In his own defense, after the game Girardi noted he’d considered employing the re-entry rule to announce Beltre as injured, pinch-running A-Rod and then using Wigginton for the at-bat. Think about that proffered pretzel logic, though: down by two with the leadoff man at first base, you have Wigginton hit, instead of A-Rod?”

    For Wigginton to run for Ortiz, Beltre would have to be replaced by A-Rod, then Ortiz would have to fake an injury, and I don’t see him doing that.

  10. RIP George; the Mr. Burns of baseball.

    So proud of Mac and the Braves. This is the coolest season as a Braves fan that I can remember. Can’t wait to see what Heyward and JJ do in the 2nd half.

  11. If I may:

    Brian McCann can be one of the following:

    BMac
    Heap
    Pimpbot


    but he can not be Mac. Not here. That name belongs to the proprietor of this place. Spread the word.

  12. I think the All-Star managers are in a difficult position. It’s fine to say the game means something, but what happens if a guy gets hurt? Plus, for many, if not most, of the players, home field in the World Series is not going to be relevant. Understandably, they want to play. I like the set-up now because the NL won and, hopefully, it will be relevant for the Braves, but they should stop pretending this is anything but an exhibition game.

  13. @14,

    I personally prefer “the Mr. Potter of baseball.”

    Many guys in the New York press is talking about him like he’s Ghandi. While he certainly did some great things in the community, he was hardly a nice man.

  14. @9, well, Manuel did his share of terrible managing –

    Not starting Votto

    Ryan Howard batting cleanup against a lefty

    Ethier in CF

    Sending out Kuo instead of Wainwright

    Putting Infante on the team instead of Zimmerman. (Between Hanley, Furcal, Prado, Phillips and Zim, I think you can get 9 innings)

  15. @15

    Noted; and absolutely appropriate.

    @19

    I hear you, but did you see the MLB episode of the Simpsons when Burns signed all the best players (Griffey, Boggs, Strawberry, etc.), and then managed them himself? He kept telling Boggs to shave his sideburns though he had none. Hilarious. They seemed to be satirizing Stienbrenner.

  16. Anyone see the recap of the game on espn.com? It had this blurb:

    “You dream of moments like this as a kid. It was amazing,” said McCann, a five-time All-Star relatively unknown before this night.

    So, McCann was “relatively unknown” just because some lazy AP writer was unfamiliar with him?

  17. #26 – yeah he’s just been the best offensive catcher in the NL and a 5 time Allstar….maybe he needs a new profession or stop watching just the Yanks/Bosox all the time

    just think if McCann and Hanley were on the RedSox or Yanks

  18. csg – tell it, brother! Agree 100%

    Mac – great, inspired performance today. (Thomason, that is …)

    So proud of McCann. May he replicate that clutch performance in the seventh game of the World Series at home.

  19. Even the guys on MLB network don’t want to give BMac the respect he deserves. HR said on the post game show that for him the key inning was the 5th, because of the great defense by the AL in the top half, and then the great baserunning on Kuo’s error in the bottom half. He then shows a clip of BMac (whom he parenthetically refers to as the hero of the game)flying out in his first AB with runners on. For him though, the clutch 2 out double wasn’t the story.

    Screw him, the AP and the AL.

  20. Wow… Yesco gone… he’s been frustrating as hell, but it feels like we may have given up on him a bit too soon (and is Alex Gonzalez “better”?)

  21. @ 22, absolutely satirizing Steinbrenner. When Mattingly gets thrown off the team by Mr Burns for having side burns, (at this point the entire sides of his head are shaven giving him almost a faux hawk) Mattingly says “I still like him better than Steinbrenner” as he’s walking away.

  22. Post on the deal is up. I’ll update it as I find out more. Simply put, this is a sell-low maneuver and can only be rectified if the prospects mean something.

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